This blog post has been provoked by seeing some girls in the years younger than mine's Tumblr pages. They're disenchanting to say the least. It's just seems like I'm pulling on the bittersweet end of the constant tug of war between the overwhelming force of media and actual reality.

It seems like all we desire is everything we can get immediately. We all do it. I'm actually a basket case, so this blog post is introspective and not a politic statement or anything too revolutionary. This immediacy has created a loss of mystique. I think I can talk about this without being too pretentious because I'm like the second generation of internet children. In this twisted metaphor of an Ellis Island pretence, I'm not part of the crowd that can remember life without the internet but I still have a heavy connection to the 'homeland'... in this case actual real life. 

So that got a bit abstract, but I do worry about how big of a digital footprint I'm leaving. In the immortal words of David Tennant's Doctor Who "A footprint doesn't look like a boot" - on every internet site that I grace (which is basically everything, I am omnipresent) it's a different interpretation of myself because it's easy to wear a mask when everyone else is doing the same. It's not a new revelation that the internet has an element of fakery, it just scares me that the internet can supersede actual interaction. Which is why I'm thinking that I should limit myself. Reign myself in a bit. Refine my internet self to an appropriate degree where I still have control and the opportunity to regain a bit more secrecy. 

On the other hand, this is all just bringing my horizons to a closer proximity. To embrace them and keep them like a comforter, close and concise. This is a bad statement. I'm scared of the internet life being controlling but perhaps this is the kind of fear that you can thrive off of and use  as a pixellated form of sustenance. It's not a different world to the real, fresh air world, the internet just runs parallel and it's pretty fun to keep up with it. 

Confronting myself with the idea to trim off the fat of my internet usage brought brilliant excuses in my head. What, my twitter? I need that to follow things I care about. Oh, then facebook is just full of the people I avoid at school... but how else could I spent hours on end talking to my German BFF? Tumblr - Tumblr is pointless... until I forget that I'm doing both Art and Textile Design at GCSE and it's basically a big melting pot of pretty pictures. I go round in circles until I'll always realise that I'm stuck in this world but it's not a bad thing. Actually, it's a good relationship. I have a life. I have an internet life. 

My generation, a self labelled 'child of the internet' culture, is one where there's a direct link between experiencing stuff in the real world, which will inexplicably spill over the seams to the online realms of social networking, blogging, sharing, watching, consuming, procrastinating. It's inescapable, but it's not the thing that will control us... the internet will be the thing to lead us into the light. Albeit if that light is, for now, the fluorescent glow of a desk lamp falling past the unfinished homework to a vampire-esque figure hunched over a laptop that is slowly but surely running out of charge. The world of 2012, the internet, everything, I salute you.

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